BEAR WITH ME.
So, the other day I went to see Call Me By Your Name, which — as I’m sure you know by now — stars Timothée Chalamet and Armie Hammer.
Frederick M. Brown / Getty
And afterwards I was so ~inspired~ by the film I wrote this Very Bad Tweet™️ about Armie Hammer.
It's loosely based on a true story.
The next day a person who is smarter than me pointed out that, Duh, Erin, his name sounds like Arm & Hammer because his great grandfather, Armand Hammer, owned the company.
And I felt very dumb!!!
It says it right there! Arm & Hammer. Arm And Hammer. ARMAND HAMMER.
FXP / Via Broadway Video
But guess what, random Twitter guy. I read that entire Wikipedia page.
And the Armie Hammer Wikipedia page and the Arm & Hammer Wikipedia page. (I don't have a lot of hobbies.)
And Armand Hammer did own Arm & Hammer.
But!!! The name Arm & Hammer has literally nothing to do with Armand Hammer.
The brand started in 1867, which is 31 years before Armand Hammer was even born, y’all!
And while Armand Hammer was a wealthy business dude, he only became interested in owning Arm & Hammer ‘cuz everyone kept asking him about it.
“BUT IT LITERALLY HAS YOUR NAME ON IT” — Everyone on earth to Armand Hammer
So many people asked him about it that he attempted to buy the company! And guess what! They didn’t let him!
I guess? Money? Can't buy? Everything?? ? ? ??? ??
But by 1986, Armand Hammer’s oil company Occidental Petroleum acquired enough stock in Church & Dwight, which is the parent company of — you guessed it — Arm & Hammer, allowing him to sit on the board of directors.
And he remained an owner of Arm & Hammer for the rest of his life.
So in conclusion: Armie Hammer’s great grandfather eventually did come to own Arm & Hammer, but the brand is definitely, 100%, absolutely not named after him.
And my tweet still makes sense. Which is the most important thing.